Thoughts of Another Traveler…

I have had a lot going on in my world the last couple of weeks.  No need to expound or summarize here, but I will summarize by saying that I have spent time reading and re-reading the Biblical accounts of those who have suffered trial, persecution, false accusation, or pushed into life changing decisions due to events outside their control.  Recently, I have pushed those aside and began to focus on the Psalms of David.  It is so encouraging to be reminded that David authored many of the Psalms while hiding in caves in the wilderness, feeling alone and scared.  Tormented by false accusations and personal threats, we find a man who consistently pours out his heart and his emotions direct to his God.  For years, as I read these beautiful poems and songs, I have often tried to visualize David.  Maybe build a picture, a scene of the exact moment where he would be scratching these words onto parchment or skin of leather while playing a makeshift instrument. 

I am then reminded that this is the same David who as a young man boldly walked into a war camp to deliver food and supplies and for the first time in his life heard an enemy of God openly mock his countrymen, his brothers, and the God he served faithfully.  His display of bold anger and righteous indignation at that moment produced emotions and feelings that would forever bring him both honor and hate.  He alone claimed that God was able to provide victory.  He alone produced the courage to stand against mockery and injustice.  He alone entered the battlefield with faith and stood for his God.  David’s defeat of Goliath (provided only by his faith and trust in the power and strength of God) would forever put him in a legacy of heroism and hatred with kings, leaders, peers, family members, and countrymen.

If you read closely in the Psalms, you will find David’s struggle to live and understand this strange truth of life.  You will find over and over his weaknesses and sins displayed for God to see and forgive.  You will find glimpses of His boldness and faith jumping off the page.  You will find his inner fear and doubt exposed in crying out for his Father to save him and defend him.    One day finding enough peace and assurance to author something as beautiful as the twenty-third Psalm.  One day authoring something as desperate and despondent as Psalm thirteen.  The same man who wrote, “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want” penned these words:

“How long, Lord?  Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts

And day after day have sorrow in my heart?

How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, Lord my God!

Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,

And my enemy will say, ‘I have overcome him,’

And my foes will rejoice when I fall.”

Hey God…I am down here at the brink of completely falling apart.  I am desperate and feel like I am at the end of my rope.  Are you even there?  Are you even paying attention?  Do you even care?  I have stood for you.  I have stood against injustice and evil.  I have proclaimed my faith in Your power and deliverance time after time.  Yet, I feel like I will ultimately become the victim of defeat at the hands of injustice.  Hey God…I can’t do this much longer.  I cannot go on many more days like this.  Do you understand?  Are you hearing me?

I visualize tears on his cheek.  I sense an increased heart rate and passion in his writing.  Quite possibly he is shaking and stirred. He is fighting depression, doubt, and fear down in the depths of his soul.  He is questioning the very same power and source of his faith which brought him victory so many times in the past.

And then, David somehow manages to provide his own answer.  I sense a pause and a few deep, deep breaths.  And I sense that at that very moment, his creator and his God speaks direct into his soul.  And he writes:

“But I trust in your unfailing love;

My heart rejoices in Your salvation.

I will sing the Lord’s praise,

For He has been good to me.”

God spoke to me this morning.  He said, the answer for all you need is already there! 

Hey God…Thank you!