“Waiting on God…As an Enneagram 8”

To begin this journey, let’s establish a bit more about who I am from a DNA and personality trait standpoint. Obviously the “Enneagram” is a big deal today and it is trendy to know your number. I am unapologetically an Enneagram 8. If you do not know what this means, just perform a quick google search. For all of you who are another number, you will be reminded of why you might not like me sometimes. For those of you from the “old school” of personality studies (before the “Enneagram” became the new cool trend), I am a high “D” on the D.I.S.C. personality scale. Furthermore, in the original very “old school” personality type scientific studies (Type A, B, C, D) I am a very high “A”. Again, you can google each of these and see the details around how these personality traits are expressed. Another unique study you may not be familiar with is called the “Predictive Index” study. Although you may not be familiar with this analysis tool, it is an additionally powerful tool for analyzing behavior, tendencies, actions, and reactions. My “Predictive Index” analysis shows that I am a highly expressed “A” and “D” with a low “C” cutback. In Enneagram terms this is similar to an Enneagram 8, with an Enneagram 1 wing. Just for kicks and grins, here is how my PI summary reads for that expressed personality.

“Brian’s PI Pattern is extremely wide, which means that his behaviors are very strongly expressed, and his needs are intense proactivity and aggressiveness in driving to reach his goals. Actively and boldly challenges the world, his business, and even others’ areas within his business. Strongly independent in putting forth his own ideas, which are innovative and original, and if implemented, will change the organization. Resourceful and forceful in overcoming obstacles, he vigorously and directly attacks problems; fights back hard when challenged. Incredibly strong sense of urgency; he’s in nearly constant motion, putting pressure on himself and others for immediate results. Unable to do routine work. Connecting very quickly to others, he’s strongly motivated to build and leverage relationships to get work done. Openly and easily shares information about himself. Strikingly expressive, effusive, and verbal in communicating; he talks a lot, and very quickly, enthusiastically persuades and motivates others by adjusting his message and delivery to the current recipient. Very collaborative, he works almost exclusively with and through others. Strong intuitive understanding of team cohesion, dynamics, and interpersonal relations.”

I will briefly allow my Enneagram 8 to come out by informing the reader that I have been a certified, trained D.I.S.C. Analysis teacher for over 20 years, and a certified, trained P.I. (Predictive Index) analyst for over 10 years. I have taught classes in both the church and in the business world. I have applied the concepts of these studies for team building, conflict resolution, and hiring practices. Although I am not ‘certified’ with any Enneagram analysis or teaching at the current time, I have become very familiar with this tool. That being stated, it is amazing how much I continue to learn about my own self and how much constant work I must do to understand both my strengths and weaknesses. Being educated, or an ‘expert’ in subject matter (especially the subject matter of personality traits or basic psychoanalysis tools) certainly does not make me a ‘Master’ of my own domain. Recently, I have discovered that despite my own self-understanding and self-knowledge God decided it was time for a new era of pause, reflection, prayer, and growth in my life…which is requiring an element called patience. Key fact…Patience is a dreaded emotional response, fatal weakness, and near non-existent trait of the high A, high D, Enneagram 8. It is my kryptonite. Honest self-analysis now complete.

To summarize, over the last few years, I have been in prayer (consistently from my perspective) with a request and desire that God would bring new direction, opportunities, and passion concerning my career path. I have recently experienced some events that have raised the fervency of this desire. That is a cool, spiritual way of saying that something drastic happened, my Enneagram 8 kicked in, and I now desire to take full control of the situation and make a decision/take action (right, wrong, or indifferent) because God does not seem to be listening or paying attention to the extreme duress of the situation. Typical response based on my personality type.

Before you judge, understand this is not an a-typical response of many of our Biblical heroes of the faith. Let’s take Moses for example. In his righteous indignation over the evil mistreatment of a slave (his blood-kin by birth) by an Egyptian royal guard, Moses decided that praying for the man and having patience was not the immediate response needed. He just beat the guard to death instead. Which of course led to his expulsion from Egypt and a life in the wilderness waiting on God’s call many years later. Or we can look at Abraham. God promised him a son. Not just any child, but a child of promise and ancestry who bring salvation to the world. Abraham waited a while (well actually years and years) for this miracle to be fulfilled with his wife Sarah. He finally got impatient with God, had an affair with the house maid (modern summarization here) and had a son on his own. If you understand Biblical history and how it has an impact on modern history in the middle east, then you know the impact of this decision by Abraham. Or we can look at Peter. Jesus takes them to the Garden to pray and warns them that they are about to experience tremendous duress. He even warns Peter that he needs to be self-aware of his arrogance and weaknesses. Nevertheless, when the guards come to arrest Jesus, Peter responds with his Enneagram 8 personality by pulling a sword and slashing the ear off a guard. Ultimately later that night in his guilt and fear he lies and denies he even knows who Jesus is.

This is just a short-list. Nevertheless, these are stories I have been reminded to read in the past few weeks. Not reading them to justify or glorify the weakness. But to be reminded. Reminded that despite the great things accomplished for God by these men of faith—they all had key moments in life where they failed to be patient, listen, and wait on God. Obviously, so have I. And I can certainly look back and be repentant for damage done unintended. I am also reminded that spiritual growth comes by responding differently. Despite my nature and how my natural self (based on the weaknesses of my DNA and personality trait) is triggered to respond, I need to grow. And to grow I must rely on God and not my own power, strength, or wisdom. I am also reminded that this truth is especially hard when you know and believe that your current situation is one ripe with injustice or unfairness.

All of this has led me to a renewed study of the Biblical concept of “Waiting on God.” This concept is not unfamiliar to me. I do retain forty plus years of scripture study, memorization, sermons, and graduate study in theology which have obviously included this concept many times. Regardless, it is certainly not one of the spiritual disciplines that aligns well with the natural tendencies or responses residing in my DNA! (See underlined tendencies in PI summary as reference.) As I said earlier, being educated, or an ‘expert’ in subject matter certainly does not make me a ‘Master’ of my own domain. Trust me, God has made this extremely clear to me as of late.

A couple of weeks ago a tweeted quote by Bob Goff seemed to spur this journey and summarize my current struggle. The tweet was simple:

“I keep putting things in the Microwave and God keeps putting them back in the crockpot. Whatever is distracting you today, give it a little more time.”

It was one of those moments where the Holy Spirit grabbed me and spoke very firmly and direct to me. I was spurred and moved to action. Interestingly, what followed over the last couple of weeks was simple and basic. It has not been some deep theological, or highly intelligent work of genius. Yet, it has been profound for me. I have found new scriptural promises unfamiliar to me. I have been reminded of scriptural promises I have read many times, yet they have brought new meaning. I found old sermons and messages where I shared this teaching with others (forgetting some of my own advice over the years). The bottom line is that I have been strengthened and challenged in my faith.

Here is a summary of just a few scriptural promises (followed by my own self-reflecting responses and thoughts) which I have documented recently. This exercise has benefitted my peace and faith, hopefully it will for you as well.

Habakkuk 2:1-4

“I will stand my watch and set myself on the rampart and watch to see what He will say to me,
And what I will answer when I am corrected. Then the Lord answered me and said: “Write the vision
And make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time;
But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry. “Behold the proud, His soul is not upright in him; But the just shall live by his faith.”